Absurd patent of the month: Manually self-operated butt-kicking machine

La machine à se botter les fesses
Absurd patent of the month: n°US 2006094518
Publié le 26 May 2023

We never tire of finding funny patents and we bet you’ll love this one.

This is no less than a hand-operated butt-kicking machine. If you remember well, we had already talked about a patent of this type in our article “Absurd or quirky patents: Brandon’s selection” but the functioning here is very different.

Filed in 2006 in the United States and since entered into the public domain, the patent describes an apparatus which takes the form of a little odd chair whith a large hole. The user sits on the bench with his posterior centered over the hole, and straps himself with a safety belt (to prevent falling, or fleeing).

Under and behind the chair is installed a mechanism on which are attached a boot and a lever. When the user pulls the lever, the boot simply goes through the hole and kicks the bottom with energy. The machine is reputed to be very easy to use and would allow you to completely customize the strokes: number of repetitions, speed, amplitude, force, impact… everything is controlled by the user! It is highly probable that the boot can be customized to taste (sneaker, army boot, stiletto etc.).

Absurd patent of the month: Manually self-operated butt-kicking machine

According to the (wicked) inventor, there are several purposes for this invention, such as “fun”, “discipline”, “self-therapy” (unfortunately, the text doesn’t specify which pathology the invention is supposed to treat), or even becoming a “model for other devices or works of art” (with some imagination). Nothing serious then, don’t you think ?

But for those who remember the scene from the “Casino Royale” movie, where James Bond (played by Daniel Craig) is in a bad position, tied on a chair without a seat facing Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen), we easily imagine how paintful careless blows can be. By the way, would you describe 007’s experience as: fun, discipline, theray, a work of art, or something else? Our team couldn’t reach an agreement.


Anyway, our best wishes to those who would try this machine!

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